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- Quadextrous (adj.) - Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
- Arachnoleptic Fit (n.) - The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug (n.) - Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Bozone (n.) - The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down the near future.
- Carperpetuation (n.) - The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, thn putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
- Cashtraction (n.) - The act of buying a house which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
- Caterpallor (n.) - The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
- Decaflon (n.) - The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Disconfect (n.) - To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow remove all the germs.
- Dopelar Effect (n.) - The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you explain hem rapidly.
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