Just the way it is...

On my Facebook wall yesterday, I wrote something about how I am missing someone terribly. That someone I was referring to was my dad. It’s been eight years since he passed away. He was diagnosed of Acute Renal Failure in 2003. He suffered constant pain and restlessness for 11 months and a day after celebrating his last Christmas with us, he left. His death was the most tragic me and my family have had experienced so far.

Everything happened pretty fast. I lived away from them so it was only my auntie (dad’s sister) who personally broke the sad news about his death. Shortly after that notice my family and I drove home. All the while I thought I had myself ready when his time will come but I saw his motionless body and it was only then that I broke bucket of tears. No words can ever describe how painful it is to lose a father.

So much is going on around with me lately. And that sudden feeling of emptiness I’ve had yesterday must have been just a hint telling me that he is just around watching over me. Or perhaps he just want remembered… after all the celebration of father’s day is drawing near. So many fathers day gifts we’re left undelivered since he’s gone… not only from me but from the rest of the family as well. But I’m sure wherever he may be right now; he is just as glad knowing that warm thoughts and wishes are sent his way.

Anyone here knows why blogger was down for a long time the other day? Coz I certainly don't have a clue. That left me a worried I couldn't get my postings done. And yea, I know it's already too late to ask but I'd still want to know anyway coz still I couldn't get them done even after it came back. Somebody tried to steal my senses away from me and yes with all his mighty pride he succeeded.

My goodness, I couldn't even write with just some ordinary hoo-ha(s) I hear from the background how much more when having a shattered mind? And no, thing's aren't okay yet but I am kind of struggling just to get things done especially here. Things will be better I believe and soon I hope.

To my friend Cecile, sorry for the interrupted conversation...I honestly don't know how personalised number plates work but I will still try to get my friend/former office mate for you so you two can discuss about the matter the soonest possible time.

Tomorrow is Sunday... my big sister's birthday and well I'm looking forward to a day out. I honestly want out (alone or with anyone) even just for a while. Gotta find out later maybe what the plans exactly are.

That's how I am yesterday and today. Everyone in the house has to leave for some reasons so I am left all alone. Should I be glad? This is what I asked for after all. An undivided time for myself and my online chores. But why do I still feel disturbed? I can't seem to stay still. Can't keep my mind to one direction. Must there be something I have missed?

Still alone and pondering...

"We really don't demand too much requirements from you because your company is top listed in our system."

I will never forget this line from a certain credit card agent I have talked to some two years ago while I am still working at TDCI. As an administration staff, one of my duties was to handle administrative-related incoming calls including inquiries and credit card proposals from different credit card companies which I receive pretty much everyday.

I admit, these people are annoying sometimes. They won't let you be until they will have you say "yes" to them and if I am only a grabby type of person, I could have fallen into a pitfall of bad debt by now. I am just grateful I have known enough information on the pros and cons of having a credit card. Although I own one, I never let my credit card finance my lifestyle if it isn't a necessity at all. I know by doing so, it would hinder my goal of having a debt free living. Like I always believe, freedom from debt is not easy to achieve. But if you really want a debt free life, you must have the attitude. It takes hard work and perseverance to get anything really worth having. Every little bit of effort helps. After all, what is better than having life free from the anxieties and apprehension that debt brings?